KT’s Story
“if I had to describe my first birth in one word, it would be fast.””’
But fast doesn’t always mean easy. KT’s two births couldn’t have been more different: the first, a whirlwind of confusion, shock, and separation; the second, a journey into presence, trust, and connection.
Sometimes, the second time around is harder. It can be a mix of excitement, apprehension, and stress, especially if your first birth was difficult, challenging, or traumatic. It’s like stepping into a time portal: a chance to do it again, but perhaps with new intentions and more open eyes.
For KT*, that portal brought her to healing.
*Name has been changed upon request for privacy.
The Imprint of the First Birth
When I asked KT to describe her first birth experience, she answered simply: “Fast”.
To some, “fast” might sound ideal – especially if you’ve heard many-a-long labour story. But for KT, it was destabilizing.
At 35 weeks, she started experiencing some back cramps, but brushed them off as just another late-pregnancy symptom. Then, after three days of cramping, she awoke at midnight to her waters releasing. Feeling a bit confused, she called the doctor’s line and was told to come in. Not thinking much of it, she and her husband headed to the hospital.
At check-in, she was hooked up to an IV for antibiotics, a precaution since she hadn’t yet been tested for GBS. Soon after, the cramping grew uncomfortable. When the doctors checked her cervix, they were shocked – she was already 10 centimetres! She was quickly wheeled to the delivery room, and after only three pushes, her baby was born.
“I started getting bad cramping. Even by that time, I didn't even really think I was having contractions. And then, I started getting really uncomfortable, and they checked me and they said, ‘Oh, you are 10 centimetres dilated.’ They took me in a wheelchair to the delivery room, and there was no time for any sort of, like, medications, nothing.
I think I pushed three times and he arrived. So it was a very fast process. He arrived at 3:45am, so it was like midnight to 3:45am was my whole labour.”
All in all, she was “in shock”, she says.
No time to pack a hospital bag. No time to wrap their heads around having a baby that night. No time for even a thought about medication. And no time to lie in with their baby after he was born.
After only two minutes of holding her child, KT recalls him being taken to the NICU for medical care. For the next 11 days, all their energy was focused on him – figuring out breastfeeding, caring for their newborn amidst the incubators, with barely a moment to process their own wellbeing or emotions.
Looking back, KT says, “I felt a lot of grief… I was kind of mourning being pregnant. All the things I didn’t really think about before.” Grief at not being able to say goodbye to her pregnant belly, or to fully process the end of her pregnancy.
We often forget that birthing a baby isn’t just about bringing in new life – it’s also about letting go of the version of ourselves that was pregnant. This sacred “in-between” space is very unique, and sometimes the meaning of it all doesn’t land until the end. If that initiation is abrupt, it can feel like you’re thrown into the deep end, just trying to catch your breath. Grieving that loss is so normal.
Entering Second Pregnancy
When I asked KT what was going through her head when she got pregnant again, it’s no surprise she felt a bit nervous. From that first confirmation, she knew she’d have to watch out for another early birth. But this time, she also had the gift of hindsight. What she once thought was just pregnancy backache, she now recognized as the start of labour.
There was also relief she felt from having the same team of doctors caring for her. Other than increased monitoring, her pregnancy was smooth. She experienced the same symptoms of heartburn and belly movements as she did the first time around. But she also felt a bit less fragile, and stayed quite active throughout, which supported her ability to relax.
Preparation — From Fear to Capacity
What led KT and her husband to choose HypnoBirthing® was wanting more support to stay in that relaxed place. The weekly classes gave her a sense of “doing something” – of being proactive and prepared. It helped her to feel in control of her relaxation and learning.
“I think having that weekly class, it just kind of makes you feel like you're doing something and preparing for your birth. So I found that helpful. I'm kind of a ‘doer’. I like to be proactive and do things.”
Labour Begins — Recognition vs. Confusion
At around 36 weeks, KT recalls feeling unusually tired for a few days – so tired that one nap on her lunch break wasn’t enough. When she got home from work, she napped again. She awoke close to 5pm to a gush of water – her membranes releasing.
She called the doctor’s line and was told to come in. This time, she waited until her husband and older son came home from daycare. All three piled into the car (this time, with the hospital bag packed!). Surges started in the car, coming every few minutes. KT focused on her breathing and staying calm, not wanting to alarm her older son.
“Yeah, I was trying to just kind of manage it. So, I was pretty quiet on that ride over. Just doing my breathing. And yeah, just thinking, we gotta get there fast.”
Arriving at the hospital about an hour after her waters released, surges were now intensifying. The doctor said, “Wow, you’re a lot different than when I talked to you on the phone an hour ago! We got to get you right into the delivery room.”
This time, she wasn’t panicked by this news.
“I think with my first, I didn't know what was happening. And this time around, I felt comfortable and kind of knew - Yep, this is it.”
Active Labour — Intensity + Tools
Once in the room, a cervical check revealed that she was almost 10cm. The nurses asked about labouring positions, and KT was grateful to have remembered her parents handbook from the course with suggestions. After trying a few, the only comfortable position was leaning over the bed while her husband and the nurse did back compressions.
By now, she could sense the change in surges, which were coming on almost every minute. With barely a rest in between, she started to feel like it was “too much”.
At which point, her husband reminded her, “This is what we learned. It will happen. It's normal. Molly told us you might say this.”
She remembered: “Oh yeah, you did say: ‘oftentimes you'll get to the point where you feel like, ‘this is too much for me’, and then this means the end is near’. He's coming.'”
I often find that understanding birth from a physiological perspective – how the mind and body communicate – can be a turning point for families. On a psychological level, knowledge reduces fear.
And so, with her partner’s support, she worked with the intensity, relaxing when prompted, leaning into the trust that her body knew what to do.
The Birth — Working WITH the Body
After a final quick check and amniotomy (where the doctor used a crochet-like hook to release the remaining waters), her baby was born immediately after.
Her labour was 3.5 hours from the initial release of membranes to birth.
And in that moment of her son’s precipitous arrival, there was relief and happiness.
“I was just so happy. I think I said, ‘We’re so happy you’re here.’ It was just a relief and knowing he was okay.”
Still, there was some anxiety - echoes of her first birth:
“Because this time, we were again a bit early [preterm], I was kind of thinking, oh, are they gonna have to take him?”
But all was well. Her son stayed with her and was able to be monitored in the room, while she birthed her placenta and recovered – no stitches needed. Being able to go to the postpartum ward together felt wonderful. Where her first birth brought separation, this time, there was connection.
What Made the Difference
And connection was everything. KT recalls that having her partner’s calm, steady presence was one of the most helpful tools. When birthing sensations became intense, her partner was there to remind her to breathe with them and relax. With his steady presence, she found anchoring in the belief that her body knew what to do – and all she needed, in that moment, was to let go.
Having HypnoBirthing® as part of their journey helped her feel prepared, relaxed, and connected to her support system.
“Yeah, I felt pretty connected to, you know, the process. I think this time around, like, just trusting, my body really knows what to do. And that was something, I think you told us in the classes. Like, your body just really does know what to do. In birth, you just kind of relax and let it do its thing. And I think that did help me relax, just knowing- I don't have to think too hard about this. It's just…happening.
I did feel sort of powerful as well. Just through the whole process. Like, I can do this! You know, I can handle the pain- I can. Yeah. I felt proud when he was born. Like, I did this! And I didn't ever feel out of control.”
What made the difference wasn’t just knowledge, mindset, or partner support—it was all three, woven together with nervous system tools and the time and space dedicated to her relaxation and process each week leading up to the birth.
Reflecting Back
Her second birth opened a pathway to healing. Even though it was also fast, she was more sure-footed, more present, and more peaceful —before, during, and after.
“It was a very healing birth.
When I had my first, I felt out of control… but with my second, I felt comfortable – just more at peace the whole time. Everything was going to be okay. And yeah, at the end, I was like, I did this — he's here and he's healthy, it's awesome! It was definitely a positive birth.”
Sometimes, the journey of one birth doesn’t come full circle until the next. For KT, her second birth carried the seeds of healing from the first.
Closing — Hope for Others
When I asked KT what she’d like to say to others preparing for childbirth — especially those feeling fear after a difficult experience — she said:
“You can absolutely have a relaxing birth and a more comfortable, calm birth. And just, you can be confident that your body knows what to do and, yeah, like, you can do it.
You can have a positive experience.”
That reassurance can mean everything.
“Oh yeah... And have a good music playlist!”
What this story shows us:
Fast births don’t have to feel chaotic
Preparation changes how you experience intensity
Support (especially partner/birth companion support) is everything
A previous difficult birth doesn’t define the next
Sometimes reassurance is all you need to build trust from