Collective Support
what whales can teach us about the power of collective support in birth
Did you see this news story?
Earlier this year, scientists captured some rare footage of a group of female sperm whales supporting a mom in labour.
The whales were seen hovering tightly at the surface when a plume of blood appeared in the centre. Two seconds later, a little whale’s body appeared. Immediately, the attending whales became very active, taking turns pushing the little one to the surface so it could take its first breath. It must have been a pretty incredible sight to see!
You can take a look at the live footage and read the whole article here.
This is not the first time we’ve seen collective birth support in the animal world. Elephants and some monkeys are known to support birth in different ways. When I was in university, we went on a farm visit and I witnessed cows do it too. As I was walking by a particular barn, I noticed a cow in the corner, lying down with little hooves sticking out of her. As I stopped to take in the scene, a few other students joined me, but we didn’t get to watch for long. The other cows in the barn swiftly surrounded the mother, blocking our view.
Birth is a physiological function. Like all physiological functions, it works best when a mother feels safe, private and undisturbed. So these cows knew intuitively to protect the space.
Why I’m bringing these stories up is because we often forget that we are mammals too - and that birth has historically been held in community. Before it became such an isolated medical event, women often laboured surrounded by other women, each tending in their own way, helping care for both her and the space around her.
You see, birth has never just been about ‘the body knowing what to do’ - it’s also been about relationships. In a medicalized birthing system, navigating all those relationships can feel complex. It’s not just you, baby, and companion, it’s also your care providers and the institutions shaping their care.
Maternity wards are busy places. Depending on how busy the hospital is that day, the nurses, doctors or midwives attend to multiple rooms and births at once. So much of the emotional and practical responsibility of caring for the birthing mother lands on the shoulders of one person - usually the birthing companion. It’s a big role!
What does all this mean for you?
It doesn’t mean you need to have your whole village in the room with you. Support can be built in small and meaningful ways. The birth team starts with you and your baby. Then it extends out to you and your partner, or chosen companion, and then to everyone else in the room.
It can start in the body first - with learning how to come back to yourself and notice what helps you feel safe and steady. From there, it extends into your relationship with your partner or chosen companion. Have you talked about how you want to be supported in labour? What kind of presence helps you feel most grounded?
And then it builds outward again - through education, through the stories and wisdom of others, and through the people you gather around you before and after birth. A little understanding can go a long way in building trust.
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s this: yes, your body knows what to do, but that doesn’t mean you have to do birth alone. Even if you want to keep the birth room small and closeknit, there are a number of ways you can honour that collective spirit in your birth prep. I plan to write more on just that topic, but I’ll leave you with this simple idea.
» When you go into labour, get your people to light a candle.
Invite them to share a blessing for you and the birth when they light it.
Whether the words are simply uttered to the flame or sent directly to you, the blessing and ritual itself can become a way of holding you within a wider circle of support.
So what can whales teach us about birth support?
I think in the modern birth context, support doesn’t have to be physically present at the birth to still matter. It can be in conversations leading up to birth with other moms who can share encouraging stories or wisdom. It can show up after you get home with your newborn, in the freshly cooked food or the calm, helpful presence of a friend. It can show up in community - physical or virtual - in practitioners’ offices, or over the phone.
Maybe that’s the lesson the whales offer us - not that birth must look one way, but that support can show up in a multitude of ways to keep both mother and baby afloat.
If you want to see the whale footage, you can catch it here.
Who will be part of your wider birth circle? Maybe send this to someone you’d like beside you - whether that’s in the birth room, on the other end of the phone, or lighting a candle for you from afar.
And if you’re looking for support preparing for birth - including the physiology of birth, nervous system tools, partner preparation and ways to feel more grounded in your choices - you can learn more about my HypnoBirthing classes here.